What have I done???

It will sound ideal to all of you - and it did to me too at first. I am about to be a guinea pig for an anti ageing product. (All fitting rather nicely with my "I will be a girl" mantra). BUT!!! Tomorrow I am going to have my skin sort of x rayed in order that the results after 6 weeks can be verified. I have the facial structure of a 16 year old and regularly get asked for ID so I blind myself to the real truth. Tomorrow I am going to find out what that is. A pack of fags a day, at least half a bottle of wine a night, never taking my make up off... all those things I took at clubs in my 20s. The lack of sleep from partying and child rearing (not together obviously). It's going to stare at me on a sheet of paper and I will be able to hide no more. Thank God tomorrow is oodles of time away but SSC's bedtime is only an hour away and I can have one more - last - comforting glass of wine. Phew, panic over.